The strategies this week focus on nurturing thoughts and attitudes that lead to stronger relationships. It brought to mind a favorite quote from another book I have read recently, "What you think about all day long, and the way you think about it, determines who you will eventually become."* My brain only listens to me, so if I am telling myself that my husband is the problem, that he can't do anything right, that he is letting me down, failing me, not loving towards me, too busy for me, (fill in the blank with your own thoughts)...and I think this way all day, I have set him up to fail me. I am now looking for and expecting him to do these things (or not do them, as the case may be). I will take even the most loving gesture from him as a let down and as I put him down, I am encouraging him to stop trying.
Wow, what a quick, downward spiral from just a few negative thoughts. I would love to say that I never do this...but that is simply untrue. I do allow negative thoughts to take me down to a place where nothing my husband does is good enough. Now I'm not saying he is perfect, but he deserves my love and affection whether I am feeling love and affection from him today or not. I can tell you that when I seek to affirm him and fill his love tank by speaking his love language, I see more of his actions as loving. What I think about all day long really does effect how I see things and receive love.
There was so much packed into these few pages, I think I need to re-read them. But what stuck out to you? Do you see hope in these ideas for your relationship? Do you know you love language? Or your spouse's?If you have not read "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman, I highly recommend it. I have also read his children's version, which contains the same basics but focused more for little ones who may not have a primary love language yet or are unable to express what they need.
* The Ultimate Journey, Phase III - Embracing Self-Surrender by Christ-Life Ministries
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