Stratagy One

Hello! Week two reading The Four Seasons of Marriage by Gary Chapman. You are not behind...just jump in when you can! If you are not sure where your relationship currently is, please take a few moments to complete Marital Seasons Profile. I feel the material is much more helpful if you understand where your relationship is currently.

"We have to deal with the past before we can put it behind us. Otherwise, it keeps popping back up. But once we have resolved our past failures, we can spend our energy focusing on the present and create better seasons in the future." (pg 69)

Oh, how I don't like this one! I really identify with Brent, just push all the yuck from my past aside and keep moving forward. Ugh, but I know from experience that Mr Chapman is right. Sweeping dirt, crumbs, toys, laundry, etc. under the rug doesn't really clean up anything, it just masks the mess temporarily. When it resurfaces again, and it always does, it is more dirty, more damaged, more messed up than before.

So am I willing to take time to recognize my mistakes, my baggage? Am I willing to be brutally honest with myself, God and my spouse? Am I ready to forgive myself and seek forgiveness from my husband? What about him...am I open to hearing his confessions and offering forgiveness?

The promise of forgiveness from God is guaranteed. Forgiving myself is critical to not only the success of my marriage, but my own personal success. I think it's time to let go!

Book Two: Part One

And so it begins...week one of Gary Chapman's "The Four Season's of Marriage." If you are engaged or in a relationship with someone, I still recommend reading this book. If I could have started my marriage with this information, my how things would have been so different.

I have an aggressive reading planned for this first week, not to overwhelm you (I know this is a holiday week) but to give you an overview and get into the meat of the material more quickly. Please note: the page numbers may be different if you have a different edition. Jump in when you can, I look forward to your thoughts and comments!

November 20   Read Part I (pg 3-60)
November 27   Read Part II Strategy 1 (finish the Profile too, pg 61-82)
December 4    Read Part II Strategy 2 & 3 (pg 83-106)
December 11   Read Part II Strategy 4 & 5 (pg 107-133)
December 18   Read Part II Strategy 6 & 7 (pg 135-164)
December 26   Read Part III plus any of the questions (pg 165-181)

"Emotions moderated by Reason

guided by Truth = Constructive Action"

(pg 8)

I think this quote surprised me, not because I don't think it's true, but because it so clearly states the 'unstableness' of my emotions alone. They fluctuate, change, sometimes at a moments notice. I can be happy and contented one moment and the next moment I am discouraged and stressed. If I measured my marriage based solely on my emotions, it would be the most confusing mess, I'm not even sure one could make sense of it. I need to acknowledge my feelings, they are meant to be felt, but it would not be fair to judge my spouse by them or the state of our marriage. I need to sort through that feeling first, determine reason, seek the truth, before I can take action that would help, not hurt, our relationship.

I sometimes forget that I can get the sniffles in spring and a cold in summer. Just as I can experience a warm fall or a mild winter. I need to look at the whole of our marriage, not just the emotion of this moment, to identify where we are.

Mr. Chapman dives right in to the descriptions of each season. Were you able to pick your relationship's season out? Did this season surprise you? If you were not able to identify it easily, please take a moment to do the season's profile and if you are ready, ask your spouse to do it too.

afterword

Well, we did it! We have read, clear to the end, One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. How does it feel?

What is sticking with you?
What impacted you most?
Would you recommend this book to a friend?
Do you see yourself reading it again?

I was personally touched by her raw emotion and gentle reminders. I especially enjoyed chapters 7 & 8. "Worry is the facade of taking action when prayer really is." (pg 143) When I feel like I must do something, take action, am I covering up true action with a facade of worry, fear, distrust? Do I trust Him enough to act through prayer? I think I'm going to put this on my fridge for a while...I need to be reminded often of this truth.

"Count one thousand gifts, bless the Holy One one hundred times a day, commune with His presence filling the laundry room, the kitchen, the hospital, the graveyard, the highways and byways and workways and all the blazing starways, His presence filling me." (pg 226)

the joy of intimacy

Welcome! Week eleven, chapter eleven of Journey Reading:  Ann Voskamp's "One Thousand Gifts."

Our last week in this book! I will be posting an afterword tomorrow to wrap up this book. See the book announcement post from yesterday if you would like to continue reading with us!

 

"I can't simply ignore His serenade because I'm unsure, uncomfortable, uninterested, thinking I've claimed Christ as my Savior already anyways. God is relationship and He woos us to relationship and there is nothing with God if there is no relationship." (pg 212)

Oh, how I would love a trip to Paris, to see the ocean from above, to see the history and the art and the intrigue of a foreign land. To see such paintings of Christ and hear choirs sing in historic cathedrals, I imagine, would be inspiring.

I would like to spend some time journaling this week about communing with God, cohabiting with Christ, my relationship with Him, what He really thinks of me. What about you?

What does God think about you?
What does communing with God look like?
What about "Christ-in-me"...what does that look like?

"Years of Christian discipleship, Bible study, churchgoing had been about me thinking about God; practicing eucharisteo was the very first I had really considered at length what God thought of me--this ridiculous and relentlessly pursuing love, so bold. Everywhere, everything, Love!" (205)

~ NEW Book Announcement ~

Hello Fellow Readers! After much contemplation, I feel this book is the best one for the timing, business of the season and most requested.

The Four Seasons of Marriage by Gary Chapman

It was available at the local Christian bookstores last time I looked. Amazon also has it available. Other local bookstores may have it as well. There are many cover designs, so don't be concerned if the one you get doesn't look like this photo. If you are unable to get the book in time to start reading this next week, just jump in when you can!

November 20   Read Part I (pg 3-60)
November 27   Read Part II Strategy 1 (finish the Profile too, pg 61-82)
December 4    Read Part II Strategy 2 & 3 (pg 83-106)
December 11   Read Part II Strategy 4 & 5 (pg 107-133)
December 18   Read Part II Strategy 6 & 7 (pg 135-164)
December 26   Read Part III plus any of the questions (pg 165-181)

I also plan to read the corresponding study guide each week (Part IV, pg 183-218). If you have time to read it, I feel it will add to the material.

empty to fill

Welcome! Week ten, chapter ten of Journey Reading:  Ann Voskamp's "One Thousand Gifts."

"...it's true, I think I'm due some appreciation. So comes a storm of trouble and lightning strikes joy. But when Christ is at the center, when dishes, laundry, work, is my song of thanks to Him, joy rains." (pg 194)

I am facilitating a class at the House of Hope in Cedar Rapids this fall, and so much of this book carries over into that study. It (whatever "it" is in this moment) is not about me. Every situation I face, Christ faces with me and has covered. All I have to do is allow Him to bless...and He always has enough! It is not dependent on my strength or my grace, He is sufficient.

But the "Deceiver" (Satan, the Devil) seeks to destroy grace and joy. He reminds me of just how weak and helpless, flawed and defective I am. He attempts to blind me with half truths so that I miss out on true joy and service. You see, I am all those things...I am horribly weak, impossibly helpless, hopelessly flawed, and severely defective. He is right about who I am and that often keeps me from seeing the lies. The other half of the truth, is that I am created in God's image, I am His daughter, He has forgiven my sins, and covers my weakness, helplessness, flaws and defects. He stands ready to love me and use me...if I'll let Him.

How 'bout today? I am tired and it is raining, I would love to go back to bed. But I have a house to keep clean, little ones to keep up with, and phone calls to make. Will I choose to thank Him today? Will I choose to receive His grace and joy and blessings? Will I choose to allow them to flow through me and bless others?

"It is by the very function of our being, not our doing, that we are the beloved of God. And so we become the love of God, blessing those He loves." (pg 199)

What do you believe about yourself? Do you listen to the lies of the Deceiver?
How has blessing cost you?
Will you read Romans 7 with me this week?

Two Weeks and Counting...

Only two chapters left in our current book! So hard to believe that we're almost through Ann's book. I have so enjoyed reading it together, thank you for joining me!

I am looking for the next book to read and would LOVE input! I would like to read a simple book for the last six weeks of the year and them start something new in January. Some I am considering are:


Grounds for Belief by Ed Dickerson - A book about conversations regarding believes about God that take place in a coffee shop. Fairly short, but thought provoking.

The Right to Write by Julia Cameron - This author was suggested to me by a friend. While the topic is writing, the underlying theme is about telling my story. Short chapters with writing ideas to try, but we'd need to do 3 or 4 a week to be done in a timely fashion.

The Love Dare by Stephen and Alex Kendrick - A forty-day journey expressing love to a spouse. Simple reading and assignment each day, we'd be done in six weeks. I don't know each of you very well, if we have single people reading with us, maybe we could do this later in the year as a side project?


The Four Seasons of Marriage by Gary Chapman -A cute little book about the stages of marriage and how few marriages stay in the spring time of the "love high." What are the stages? How do I identify where my marriage is? What is the importance of that stage and how do we move past it? Here again...I don't know where you all are, so please let me know!


Any of these intrigue any of you? Any suggestions of books you would like to read with us?