Book Two: Part One

And so it begins...week one of Gary Chapman's "The Four Season's of Marriage." If you are engaged or in a relationship with someone, I still recommend reading this book. If I could have started my marriage with this information, my how things would have been so different.

I have an aggressive reading planned for this first week, not to overwhelm you (I know this is a holiday week) but to give you an overview and get into the meat of the material more quickly. Please note: the page numbers may be different if you have a different edition. Jump in when you can, I look forward to your thoughts and comments!

November 20   Read Part I (pg 3-60)
November 27   Read Part II Strategy 1 (finish the Profile too, pg 61-82)
December 4    Read Part II Strategy 2 & 3 (pg 83-106)
December 11   Read Part II Strategy 4 & 5 (pg 107-133)
December 18   Read Part II Strategy 6 & 7 (pg 135-164)
December 26   Read Part III plus any of the questions (pg 165-181)

"Emotions moderated by Reason

guided by Truth = Constructive Action"

(pg 8)

I think this quote surprised me, not because I don't think it's true, but because it so clearly states the 'unstableness' of my emotions alone. They fluctuate, change, sometimes at a moments notice. I can be happy and contented one moment and the next moment I am discouraged and stressed. If I measured my marriage based solely on my emotions, it would be the most confusing mess, I'm not even sure one could make sense of it. I need to acknowledge my feelings, they are meant to be felt, but it would not be fair to judge my spouse by them or the state of our marriage. I need to sort through that feeling first, determine reason, seek the truth, before I can take action that would help, not hurt, our relationship.

I sometimes forget that I can get the sniffles in spring and a cold in summer. Just as I can experience a warm fall or a mild winter. I need to look at the whole of our marriage, not just the emotion of this moment, to identify where we are.

Mr. Chapman dives right in to the descriptions of each season. Were you able to pick your relationship's season out? Did this season surprise you? If you were not able to identify it easily, please take a moment to do the season's profile and if you are ready, ask your spouse to do it too.