This chapter reminds me of another book, which talks about the glasses we wear. Am I wearing glasses of love? grace? selfishness? anger? glasses of self? or God? Am I choosing to see things as "raw material" for God's work or as ugly, dark, out of control?
Speaking of control...do I really prefer the drama? Would I give up God's blessings and graces and joy to grasp after a false sense of control? As much as I love control, I'm apparently not very good at it as often as I mess things up. I am learning to let go and let God. But it's not easy!
"Ah, I see. The Lord has to break us down at the strongest part of our self-life before He can have His own way of blessing with us."*
Something else that stuck out to me, is this quote on parenting: "The parent must always self-parent first, self-preach before child-teach, because who can bring peace unless they've held their own peace?" (pg 124) I have been learning to care for myself so that there is something of me to give to them. But remembering that I cannot expect from them what I have yet to learn is hard some days.
I have been searching for the moments to see the grace when all my human eyes can see is the mess. Longing to release the drama and say my thanks whether it makes sense or not.
the gentle rain on the roof on a lazy Saturday morning
the taste of yummy chicken that hubby bbqed for me
a shower that drains properly
good paying job for hubby, even if the demands aren't always what I'd like
So how about you? What did you take away from this chapter?
What do you see the world/life through?
Is control a challenge for you? How would it feel/does it feel to let go?
Is there something God is breaking down to free you up for Him?
"Learning slowly to not be so reactionary while inserting verbal
gratitude into stressful situations is almost like being healed of
mental blindness. I have begun to 'see' again." (pg 133)
* (pg 138) - James H. McConkey
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